Rocket Had Come Equipped With A Gun

If you’ve seen the latest Guardians of the Galaxy flick, you understand that raccoons don’t like being in cages. And while anyone would assume that to be true, I’d faced that very situation not too long ago and the experience still stresses me out. So I thought I’d work through my issues by doing a quick ink and watercolor sketch of my favorite Guardian, Rocket Raccoon.

Inks and ink wash complete, time for color.

It’s not even that I’m an avid reader of the Guardians of the Galaxy comics. I barely know anything about them beyond what the James Gunn movies have given us. But I know cute. And as quick-tempered and prone to ultra-violence as he is, Rocket is frickin’ adorable. Like a teddy bear with a chainsaw. And drawing him — even for a simple ink and watercolor practice piece like this — is a ton of fun.

Watercolor over wash.

But there were scenes in the movie depicting Rocket’s origin, where he was being held in a cage. They triggered flashbacks to the time an actual, giant raccoon got into the basement workshop through some previously unseen gap in the siding. Much like Rocket, the raccoon that broke in was adorable. And as Rocket might have also done, this unnamed raccoon tore the place up pretty good. He’d be clattering around in there all night, tearing the stuffing out of chairs, ripping into the trash cans, knocking things off shelves. In the morning I’d go in to survey the damage, terrified that he was lurking behind some random piece of equipment waiting to spring out and eat my face. But no, he was just curled up in the rafters of the room, peacefully sleeping his day away after ransacking my space all night. Nice life. I’m jealous.

Here’s a tip, should you ever find yourself in a similar situation: Hire a no-kill professional trapper. You might have to do some digging, but they’re out there. And depending on where you live, they may be booked solid and you might have to wait a bit. But here’s the important part — make sure they’ll come out to pick up the animal on the weekend if the trap is sprung on a Friday. Was this how it worked for us? No. They wanted us to just leave a giant, frantic raccoon in a cage over the weekend while we worked around it.

Dotting in the stars with a paint pen.

Now you can understand why Rocket’s so quick to anger. Raccoons get no respect. We did what research we could online, fed him grapes, and set up a makeshift water drip system so he wasn’t too uncomfortable. He seemed content, but I don’t know what he was plotting in there. For all I know, every time he gently took a grape from me he might have been wondering which was a softer target, my eyes or my throat.

And when the animal trapper showed up again on Monday (to my discontented grimace) we requested he set the little guy free in a pleasant, wooded glen where he’d have plenty of other raccoon friends to play with. Honestly? I hope when that guy opened the cage my little ring-tailed friend gave him at least one right cross for the disrespect before scampering off.

“I live for the simple things — like how much this is gonna hurt.”

So, for all the mistreated raccoons out there, I dedicate this week’s project to you. If you’ve broken into a house that has internet, feel free to watch my process video below. And to my curious friend with whom I shared some delicious grapes, viva freedom!